Overwhelmed, but let’s be honest: I did it to myself

Overwhelmed.

What a small word to describe such a large feeling.

Can that one word truly describe the weight I feel right now? Can that word fully portray my stress, my failed attempts to prioritize, my feeling of being so far buried that maybe it’s not even worth attempting to dig out? Can that word express the fear that one more thing, just one more insignificant little thing, will break me?

No.

Yet, it’s the only word I have to describe and classify these feelings.

A day when there isn’t enough caffeine in the world! (Source: “day 300, clutching my morning coffee” by massdistraction, on Flickr. Some rights reserved.)

The good news? Whatever my most overwhelmed moment was up until this point, I clearly made it through. So have you! You may have felt broken, trampled, and/or lost…but you made it. You survived. And, hopefully it made you stronger, more resilient, more ready to take on those feelings that are way to ominous to be embodied by one tiny word.

For those of you who struggle with feeling overwhelmed, who find themselves giving up when those feelings begin to build, let me share with you how I manage it.

Many people ask me how I do it. How I raise a very young family, work part-time, and work towards my doctorate degree. I usually tell them, I just do. But, that’s not the real answer.

I choose to fight the feeling of being overwhelmed in these ways:

I do my best to bar negative feelings from clouding my successes, erasing my hope… Granted, this is not an easy process, but I look at it as choosing to survive rather than worry over my ability to meet every demand.
I take my semester one day, one assignment at a time. I start each day with my girls as a new day. When I feel my patience slipping–which it seems to be doing by 8:30 am these days–I hold whichever one is starting to drive me crazy (if they allow me to) for a full minute, reminding myself that not every moment with her is a mini hell.
I remind myself–force myself, rather–to believe that there is an end in sight. That I am alive, that things can be so much worse, and that those things that are weighing down on me are actually things I am so very grateful for, that I would be lost without, that I could lose if I do not continue to fight and survive.
I take ownership. I am an individual who thrives when overwhelmed, who purposefully adds and adds and adds to my plate until it is at that point. I admit that am overwhelmed because I want so much out of life, and life wants so much out of me. It’s a give and take.

My plan, humble as it may be, is to not only allow life to take what it needs from me, but to give it my all. I have the hope that pushing into it allows me to receive more resilience and strength when it is time for the pendulum to swing back in my direction. And it always swings back.

When were you at your most overwhelmed? How do you manage? Do you see it as an obstacle to overcome or a learning and growing process? Talk about it in the comments.

Read more about raising three kids under three while pursuing a PhD at my blog.

Interview Season is Upon Us!

Interviews are always nerve wrecking, and the months leading up to internship, post-doc, and graduate school interviews can be very stressful. What should be the least of students’ concerns is the day-old question, “What am I going to wear?” Don’t fret; I have some great tips on how to feel confident in your outfit—and how to look chic yet conservative. All on a budget!

Women: your closet should always have what I consider staple pieces, a black pencil skirt, a button-up ivory blouse, a bold jacket, and black kitten heels. This is an outfit that I have worn and feel absolutely confident in. If you have these key pieces in your closet, it doesn’t matter what color your skirt, blouse or shoes are. Create a look that shows who YOU are. If you want to keep the look simple, great; if you want to accessorize, do it. Just make sure you stay true to you. This is just as much an interview for you as it is for the site or school. The examples that I provided are from one of my favorite stores, Banana Republic. Yes, the prices may be a bit over a grad school budget, but they tend to have sales frequently (if you sign-up to receive emails from them, you will be notified of their sales). Keep in mind these pieces are staples, meaning they can go with more than what I recommended. And, they are always great to pair for an interview.

These pieces are two of my favorites from my closet. Add a jacket and this could be your interview outfit!

Men: I did not forget about the male demographic – let’s head to Macy’s! Macy’s always has great deals and often has terrific sales. Wearing a suit is always the go-to for interviews. But you can make yourself stand out with a pop of color, and maybe skip the necktie and sport a bow tie instead! Try this navy suit as a suggestion. Not only can you wear a variety of different colored shirts with this suit, but the option of a necktie/bow tie is all yours. And this price is a steal! The suit will last several years and is well worth the cost—think of it as an investment. You can wear this to a wedding, future interviews, etc. Just make sure to add your personality to this statement suit.

The outfit should be one thing that will make you stand out—but, like all of my suggestions, it can only help accent what you already bring into the interview room. You are the one that will set yourself apart by your knowledge, enthusiasm and confidence.

Words I live by from one of the best designers that lived: “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” – Coco Chanel. Remember this when you are out shopping for your ensemble. Best of luck on your interviews!

Professor Punctuation Mark Decoder

“Piled Higher and Deeper” by Jorge Cham (PhDComics.com)

You CAN afford to apply for internship – If you follow these tips

Applying for internship can be expensive, particularly for graduate students on a very tight budget. The average cost for the entire process was $1,812 in 2011, inclusive of application fees, attire, and travel. This cost can be expected to increase given APPIC’s fee increases this year (due to changes in their technology vendor):

APPIC Fees	2012-2013	2013-2014
First Application	$35	$50
Applications #2-15 (each)	$10	$25
Applications #16-20 (each)	$25	$40
Applications #21-25 (each)	$35	$50
Applications #26+	$50	$65

The cost of applying goes up after the first 15 applications, which is meant to discourage you to applying to more sites than may be helpful (see Q. 12) in securing a match. For the average applicant, there will be natural limit on how many applications you can realistically personalize and how many interviews you can realistically attend. Our first tip, then, is to consider reducing the number of applications with your Director of Clinical Training’s help.

What should know before you find yourself in this scene? (Source: “packing” by Brit, on Flickr. Some rights reserved.)

Here are some additional tips to help you prepare for the costs of getting an internship:

Budgeting

Make small changes to your budget to save money over the next few months. Here’s an example: If you pack your lunch instead of buy lunch on campus, you could save $5/lunch or more. If you do that every weekday for a month, you could save as much as $100. Reducing a Starbucks habit could save you the same amount. Adjusting your cell phone plan to be consistent with your usage might also save you a lot over the long haul.
Include internship application costs in your expenses for the year. In other words, anticipate these costs by budgeting them into how you allocate your savings, loans and/or stipend.
Save on the interview suit. Everyone has their suit for interviews, typically navy blue or black, but there’s no reason to spend a bundle on it. Get one when prices drop, not at the last minute. If you’ve outgrown a suit, consider having a tailor resize your suit. Or borrow one from someone who already went through the gauntlet. Or better yet, do as Macklemore and get to a thiftshop!

Hospitality

Consider your social network. When you interview, crashing at a friend’s place (or at a friend of a friend’s place) could save you as much as $150 per night. Some applicants have turned to Facebook for help in identifying viable couches to surf, or they’ve turned to sites like airbnb.com.
Start saving your frequent flyer miles. Ask your loved ones to donate miles to help you get a ticket. If you’re a hair short of a free ticket, it may be cheaper to purchase the miles than a whole ticket.

Travel deals

Look for discounts. APA offers discounts on rental cars and at least one hotel chain for APAGS members. Your credit cards may have discounts on plane tickets. Sites like kayak.com, priceline.com, and hotwire.com will comparison-shop flights, hotels, and cars so you don’t have to. Bundling these costs together may save you even more.
Think creatively about travel. Create alerts for your home airport and cities that you might travel for interviews. If your school is in a more rural, expensive place to fly out of, consider spending the month of January in a place that is cheaper to travel from, or more central to your interviews. Book multi-city travel on one ticket, or compare the pros/cons of flying out of an airport that is less expensive.
Consider driving if it’s not that far away.
Know that renting a car could be cheaper than getting cabs in some destinations.
Is it more cost beneficial to rent a car instead of taking taxis? (Source: “Car Rental” by yum9me on Flicker. Some rights reserved.)

For general budgeting tools and videos, we suggest you check out this “Get Money Savvy” resource for graduate students. If you have other ideas, leave them in the comments!

This blog was co-written with Nabil El-Ghoroury.

5 Reasons to Submit a Proposal to APAGS for APA Convention

1) Free Registration! What graduate student doesn’t appreciate a freebie? APA will waive your Convention registration fee ($70) if you serve as a first author on a program or poster at APA Convention, are an APAGS member, and list APAGS member (not student affiliate) on your proposals. Read the APAGS FAQ for more details.

2) Looks great on a CV! Presenting at APA Convention can be an impressive addition to your curriculum vitae. Where else do you get a chance to present your work and ideas to a national audience?

3) Travel to a new city. APA Convention is hosted in various cities in the U.S. and Canada each year. In 2014, Convention will be held in Washington, D.C. Never been to the nation’s capital? D.C. comes alive in the summertime! Come spend your days hearing about what’s new in the field of psychology and your evenings exploring historical monuments or one of the more than two dozen free museums D.C. has to offer. APAGS will even help full your schedule as we host our must-attend annual social event one evening.

APAGS 2012

4) Meet your psychology idol! You never know who you might meet at Convention! Students attending the 2012 APA Convention in Orlando, Florida got a chance to meet and take pictures with Dr. Philip Zimbardo, of Stanford Prison Experiment fame. A number of eminent psychologists attend APA Convention each year. Submit your proposal to APAGS and come to DC and see what famous psychologists you meet!

5) Network with other students and psychologists! APA and APAGS provide students with numerous opportunities to network at Convention. From social events, to speed mentoring, to meet-and-greets with researchers and training directors, there are plenty of activities to help you expand your circle.

If we’ve convinced you to apply and you’re already wondering how to afford it, have a look at our strategies to save for helpful tips on how to fund your trip to Convention. The deadline to submit a Convention submission is December 2, 2013.

Have any great Convention stories or tips you’d like to share? Please consider submitting a guest post to the gradPSYCH Blog!