This blog post is a part of the series, “So Good,” developed by the APAGS Committee for Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity. This series will discuss current events and how these events relate to LGBTQ+ graduate students in psychology. If you are interested in contributing to the “So Good” series, please contact Mallaigh McGinley (they/them).

If you are a fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race, ball culture, or queer nightlife, then you have probably heard gay men reclaim femmephobic or homonegative slurs, such as playing with pronouns or using the word “girl” as a term of endearment. And if you are wondering whether your invisible psychosocial disability bars you from graduate school, then girl, let me tell you something.

She—meaning me—took the path less traveled.

Of course, the reclamation of effeminacy from a heterosexist environment—spaces where there is one way to be masculine—comes from a place of privilege. Shifting between pronouns is relatively safe for a gay cisgender man. For my transgender or nonbinary peers, a change in pronouns is too often life-threatening. So, my intention is not to make light of pronouns, but to honor the gay male community that nourishes me.